Chorus:
I am the man, the very fat man
That waters the workers' beer.
I am the man, the very fat man,
That waters the workers' beer.
And what do I care if it makes them ill,
If it makes them terribly queer?
I've a car, a yacht, and an aeroplane;
I waters the workers' beer.

Now when I waters the workers' beer,
I puts in strychnine,
Some mentholated spirits,
And a drop of kerosene.
But such a brew would be so strong,
As to make a man most queer!
So I reaches my hand for my watering-can
And I waters the workers' beer.

Chorus

Now a pint of good beer is good for a man
When he's tired and thirsty and hot,
And sometimes I have a drop myself
From a very special pot.
But a strong and healthy working class
Is the thing that I most fear!
So I reaches my hand for my watering can
And I waters the workers' beer.

Chorus

Now ladies fair beyond compare,
Be you maiden or wife,
Spare a thought for such a man
Who leads such a lonely life!
For the water rates are frightfully high,
And the meth is terribly dear,
And there ain't the profit there used to be
In watering workers' beer.

Chorus