by Bob Gibson

I started on a journey, about a year ago
To a little town called “Morrow” in the state of Ohio.
I've never been much of a traveler, and I really didn't know
That Morrow was the hardest place I'd ever try to go.

So I went down to the station for my ticket and applied
For tips regarding Morrow, not expecting to be guyed.
Said I, “My friend, I'd like to go to Morrow and return
No later than tomorrow, for I haven't time to burn.”

Said he to me, “Now let me see if I have heard you right:
You'd like to go to Morrow and return tomorrow night?
You should have gone to Morrow yesterday and back today,
For the train that goes to Morrow is a mile upon its way.

If you had gone to Morrow yesterday, now don't you see,
You could have gone to Morrow and returned today at three;
For the train today to Morrow, if the schedule is right,
Today it goes to Morrow and returns tomorrow night.

Said I, “My friend, it seems to me you're talking through your hat;
There is a town named 'Morrow' on the line, now tell me that!”
“There is,” said he, “but take from me a quiet little tip:
To go from here to Morrow is a fourteen-hour trip.

The train today to Morrow leaves today at eight thirty-five,
At half past ten tomorrow is the time it should arrive.
So if from here to Morrow is a fourteen-hour jump,
Can you go today to Morrow and get back today, you chump?”

Said I, “I'd like to go to Morrow, but can't I go today
And get to Morrow by tonight, if there is no delay?”
“Well, well,” said he to me, “and I've got no more to say;
Can't get anywhere tomorrow and get back again today!”

Said I, “I guess you know it all, but kindly let me say:
How can I get to Morrow if I leave this town today?”
Said he, “You can not go to Morrow any more today,
For the train that goes to Morrow is a mile upon its way.”

I was so disappointed I was mad enough to swear;
The train had gone to Morrow, and had left me standing there.
That man was right in telling me I was a howling jay;
I could not go to Morrow, so I guess in town I'll stay.