Some friends and I in a public house
were playing dominoes one night
when all of a sudden in the potman ran
his face was all a'fright
What's up Brown? Have you seen a ghost?
Have you seen your aunt Mariah?
Well me aunt Mariah be buggered says he
The bleedin pub's on fire!

On fire, says Brown, what a bit o luck
come along with me shouts he
for down in the cellar if the fire ain't there
we'll have a rare old spree
So we all went down with good old Brown
for that booze we could not miss
and we hadn't been 10 minutes there
'till we were all like this:

Chorus:
There was Brown, upside down
moppin' up the whiskey off the floor
Booze! Booze! the fireman cried
as they came knockin' at the door
Well, don't let 'em in until it's all mopped up
Someone shouted MacIntyre! (MacINTYRE!)
And we all got blue-blind-paralytic drunk
when the old dun cow caught fire

Old Johnson flew to the port wine tub
and he gave it just a few hard knocks
he then starts taking off his pantaloons
likewise his boots and socks
Hold hard said Snooks, if you want to wash your feet
There's a barrel full of four ale here
Don't go putting your trotters in the port wine Jack
when we've got some old stale beer

[chorus]

All of a sudden came an awful crash
half the bloody roof gave way
we got drowned by a fireman's hose
but still we were all gay
for we found some sacks and some old tin tacks
and we bunged ourselves inside
and we got drinking that good ole Scotch
till we were bleary eyed

[chorus]

Additional verses:

We got so drunk that we did not know
the blooming cellar caught fire
poor old Jones had the DTs bad
and wanted to retire
there's old Nick said another poor chap
and he's poking up the bleeding fire
that is no boogy, its a fireman, Tom
at least said Macintyre

Let's get out, said a blind eye'd boy
it's getting rather hot down here
don't be a fool, said a boozy bloke
we haven't drank the beer
so we filled our hats and we drank like cats
amidst the flames and smoke
I had to take my trousers off
for I thought that I should croak

at last the fireman got inside
and found us all dead drunk
but like all true heroes, there they stood
they did not do a bunk
they saw the booze upon the floor
and gave a sudden yell
they took their helmets off and then
upon their knees they fell
at last! at last! the firemen cried
at last we know the news
come on, come on, us lads all cried
come on and have a booze