When I was a young man I used to like girls;
I'd tickle their bodies and play with their curls.
But my girlfriend ran off with a sailor named Bruce
Now, you'd never be treated that way by a moose!
Chorus:
And it's moose, moose, I like a moose,
I've never had anything quite like a moose.
I've had many women, my life has been loose
But I've never had anything quite like a moose.
Whenever I feels I'm in need of a lay
I goes to my cupboard and gets me some hay.
I leans out my window and spreads it around
'Cos a moose always comes when there's hay on the ground!
[Chorus]
I've done it with all sorts of beasties with hair
I'd do it with snakes if their fangs wasn't there!
I've had me a chicken, a duck and a goose
But I've never had anything wuite like a moose.
[Chorus]
Purple gorillas on Saturday night,
Lions and tigers, they puts up a fight!
But it just ain't the same when you slams their caboose
As the feeling you get when you're humping a moose.
[Chorus]
Now I am old … and increasing in years
I looks on my past, and I sheds me no tears.
I just sits in my chair with a glass of Mateus,
Playing Hide the Salami with Minnie the Moose!
Final Chorus:
And it's moose, moose, I like a moose,
I've never had anything quite like a moose.
I've had men and women, my life has been loose
But I've never had anything quite like a moose.